You would think that Martin Shkreli, the former pharmaceutical CEO who infamously jacked up the price of AIDS medication would have more important things to worry about right now instead of starting beefs with rappers: such as his freedom.
The Germans have a word for that emotion you are feeling right now: “schadenfreude” – pleasure from other people’s pain or misfortune.
The FBI arrested Shkreli in December on securities fraud, for essentially operating a Ponzi scheme for which he could face 20 years in prison. However, out on five million dollars bond, his inner D-bag could not handle being insulted by rapper Ghost Face Killah, whose one of a kind, “work of art” Wu-Tang Clan album “Once Upon a Time in Shaolin” he purchased for two million dollars. ‘Killah called Shkreli a “shithead” in this interview last week from TMZ:
Ghostface later said Shkreli had a Michael Jackson nose. SNAP. Well, now Shkreli, looking like the villain from a 1980’s comedy film, who is totally going to bulldoze the nursing home to build a parking lot- has fired back with this dis video flanked by three “scary” henchmen wearing masks.
In the clip from TMZ, Martin, who I will now refer to only by his Internet name, “Pharma Bro” calls Ghost Face Killah by his “government name” – Dennis. He warns the rapper: “For whatever reason you think it’s OK to beef with me, but that’s a big mistake.”
Pharma Bro wants Ghost Face Killah to stop trying to step in his spotlight, saying:
“You’re an old man that’s lost his relevance and you’re trying to reclaim the spotlight from my spotlight.”
Which is pretty funny considering Shkreli has about used up his fifteen minutes of fame, and after he goes to jail, nobody aside from his cellmate will remember him -and only then when said cellmate is feeling rather randy. Even if you are not a fan, Ghost Face Killah has in fact been a famous musician for the past twenty years.
Pharma Bro then goes on to demand an apology from Ghost Face or else he is going to erase him from the only existing copy of that Wu Tang Clan album he owns. In the video he tells him, “You are my son; you have to listen to me. I butter your bread.”
As Pharma Bro speaks, his three tough guys next to him chime in with sort of cartoonish “that’s right boss!” quips to back him up such as: “You’re going to be a ghost for real!”
Which brings up an important question: who exactly are the henchmen in his video? Pharma Bro and his “friends” make it seem like he rolls with a deep crew of badass “New Yorkers” ready to throw down at any moment when someone disrespects the boss. However I find this to be pretty suspect. That is why I have devised a list of the possible identities of Pharma Bro’s sidekicks.
1. Out OF Work Accountants He Paid From His Old Company To Hang Out With Him
After Pharma Bro was arrested he stepped down as CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals, the AIDS medication gauging company he took into the toilet. Understandably the remaining company has been forced to cut jobs, so sadly I’m guessing there are some folks willing to go hang out at Martin’s house to “make a fun video.”
2. Bebop And Rocksteady From Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
When I think of classic henchmen, willing to do or say any stupid thing just to have the back of their megalomaniac boss, I think of these two. However even Shredder would probably tell Pharma Bro to tone it down with the cartoonish rants.
3. RZA From The Wu Tang Clan
This one is an inside job. RZA, leader of the Wu-Tang Clan is secretly pushing publicity and controversy around his secretive album he hopes to one day release to the public.
4. The Character “Michael Bolton” From Office Space
This is how I picture Pharma Bro and his buddies listening to his Wu Tang album. It would only be fitting if one of his hooded “gangsters” was really the nerdy office dweller in this classic film.
5. Young Ted Cruz
Even if you think Pharma Bro is purely joking and doing this all just for the attention, the above TMZ video hauntingly reminds me of someone…. Perhaps Pharma Bro gets his inspiration from political leaders he admires?
Young Ted Cruz/ Pharma Bro 2016!
Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney